Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Dear Doctor,

While in the care of you and your staff and that of the hospital I was asked on a number of occasions this question__"What do you do?"

In my life I have done many things. Artist, writer, seller of others works. I have worked for myself. I have worked for others. I have always worked. Now I am no longer able to paint as my hands do not possess their old dexterity. Writing? Yes, I still write but not as I once did. My mind seems to wander and I have difficulty pulling pieces together. It must be this age thing everyone keeps talking about.

And my physical abilities seem to be deserting me.

Once I realized that most of these things I depended on all my life were gone and not coming back I had to come to a new definition of what it is that I do. It's taken me awhile but I believe over the last few years I can now more easily characterize it.

I engender. Yes, that is as good a term as any. I, and others like me, seek to reach out and encourage and engender the people around us who we encounter. Are we a group? Not that I'm aware of but I'm certain I'm not alone. What I am certain of__ this is what I now do.

When I see someone doing something that should be commented on, I do so. Commended, yes. Criticized? This is more difficult. Because as I grow older I also realize I have very little footing to stand in condemnation upon. Oh, don't mistake me, I may think it, but I try [sometimes with valiant effort] to keep it to myself.

So that is my answer to your question.

And Doctor? Thank you for all that you and your wonderful staff did for me.

16 comments:

  1. ...and you excel at what you do. You always make me feel like a million bucks. *hug* And thank you for it.

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    1. You, of all the group, are a remarkable agent of cohesiveness. I hope you realize that. Surely you must. (((Hugs)))

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  2. Really?

    I never realized that you were that talented, but its true.

    As for the holding back thing, I'm beginning to think it might be a little lopsided if not out right broken, but then mine has been totally busted for a few years now.

    MT C

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  3. Wow, what I do for the rest of my life could be to comment on this blog. I'll be back.

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    1. __waits__waits some more. :)

      What Sandra says is true. You're a dog. But you're also a companion with an assistant. An important member of a community. A unique observor. And much more that we can only guess at.

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  4. You nailed it. Such a simple question and they were looking for a simple answer, but what is it that any of us do? We wear many hats and the hats change from year to year. Some hats don't fit anymore or go out of style or we're just not able to wear them anymore. We do many things at once. It's hard to pinpoint what we really do. Well done!

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    1. Thank you, Sandra. I'm always getting stumped by this in life. There are simply too many ways to answer this question. And in most cases if you really take the time to go into any kind of detail the person who inquired in the first place looks at you like you've lost your mind.

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  5. This is the actual letter I'm giving to my surgeon when I see him again. I thought about this for awhile. As I say, I was asked this question more than once by a number of people in my stay there during a traumatic time and on some level it bothered me. I couldn't answer the question. I was drugged and in pain and helpless, and I felt somewhat defensive when asked because I thought they were [and I may be wrong] passing judgement about whether or not I was deserving of their quality of treatment. They provided it for me anyway and I am grateful...and as I say, I may be wrong because I don't do helpless very well but that was my impression.

    I wanted a way to say all of this in a positive but forthright manor. From all of your feedback I think I acheived my goal. Thank you.

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  6. One thing I do know Miki is that you can still think and write very well I must say.

    Big huggles.

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  7. Thank you, Shayna. This is Goldie. Miki is just hitting her prime. :)

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  8. *smile*

    I hate open ended questions like this. Always feel that with these questions, people are trying to categorize us and label us. I hate labels, which is funny because in my profession we're all about diagnosing someone which is a fancy word for labeling ...

    I physically cringe when I am asked these types of questions.

    I think you answered the questions beautifully.

    :)

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    1. I often wonder if you get some frustration when you must use generalized formulations like this? I would guess [and that would be all it is on my part] that much of how you connect Past your training is your deep empathy. You must have met others in your profession [as has Diane and other people in the medical fields, who practice w/o benefit of this most valuable of tools__empathy__] I feel for their patients. But I also feel for them. They must get very, what is the word I want___bewildered? by much that occurs.

      I think this probably is true of all vocations where there is any kind of human interaction. Miki and Sandra must experience it in teaching, too. Wherever there are the vulnerable being cared for.

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  10. No, not a bad rambling sentence, Diane, not at all. An answer. A specific answer. I wondered if this was a trained technique but it escaped me as to the motivation, especially for a senior. But it is easier for me to understand now [and to take less personally]. Thank you.

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  11. This is an excellent letter, it should be posted in the waiting room [read im-patient lounge]

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