Around here we have what we refer to as 'Dog Theatre'.  It is a compilation of all the beagle Bernhardt moves that can be mustered to achieve any or all things desired at any given time or place. Some of these skills are rather impressive__some, not so endearing. Like the head shaking she insists on doing constantly because she wants her wetfood treat that comes along with the meds for her minor ear infection." Oh, look My Most Concerned and Valuable Human! I am in such Pain and Discomfort!" I swear the dog is going to sever a vertebrae. This all magically stops once her objective has been met. Transparent much?

We had an altercation over it this morning as she started in on me before coffee. Not a good idea. I fell [I was at the top of the basement stairs at the time and precariously balanced trying to put the gate back up]. I did not fall down the stairs. I did break the gate. And I did fall on the bad shoulder that just got injected again yesterday. It was at this point that the actress decided maybe it was time to get off the stage for a  while. Good thinking.  She has about 10 more minutes before she gets what it is she wants. If I give it to her at her behest she will push the time limit that much earlier tomorrow. You think I'm kidding? If I let her, by this time next week she'd have me up at midnight feeding her. It's uncanny the time-clock that the animals possess. Who needs an actual timepiece?

On the cute end of the fourlegged stick around here, Mattie in her ongoing culinary perusal of taste sensations has decided that:
okra is for flinging around on the carpet until it sticks
only organic carrots are edible
broccoli is edible if coated in beef juice
cauliflower the same
and tomatoes are very mysterious unless made into pizza sauce wherein they are divine

and I believe she has decided that mushrooms and tofu aren't food at all.

Oh, and now I must worry that every time I hear her squeak about something in her crate at night it might be one of those monster spiders I found downstairs in the basement yesterday. Now that was something to get dramatic about.