This morning I went about my daily routine which includes jumping onto the computer while I jump onto the exercise bike. I got everything set up__ bike alongside bed with pillow as platform for mouse, wallmount screen turned just so, coffee on drafting table on other side of bike [small space, yes], keyboard within reach, everything set but no mouse. I had just had it 2 seconds before.
I looked everywhere. Places I hadn't even gone yesterday. I got on the floor and looked under the desk. I looked in the closet. I went into the kitchen and looked in the freezer. I haven't been in the freezer for at least 24 hrs. In short, I looked everywhere including the dog's bed. Well, I didn't check Matt's room but he'd already left for work before all of this started so what was the point in that?
I was approaching meltdown.
In case I haven't mentioned it, I've been having approaches to meltdown, immanent meltdown or just plain hysterical meltdowns rather often lately. They're not particularly fun and rather alarming for Matt. Mostly I think they're med related and I'm going to be asking for another change here when I can get an appointment but onward with the story.
In order to try and circumnavigate these little bouts I've increased my exercise routines, started meditating more and am really trying to be cognizant of behavior control before I start to fall apart because I can't do something the way I used to be able to.
I made it about halfway before I tore the bed apart.
Oh, not literally. But I pulled the blanket off and shook it, tossed it aside. Same thing with the top sheet. And again with the body pillow. Gave the evil eye to the two bed pillows and threw them in the pile on the floor. And there before me was the naked bottom sheet with a keyboard and screen remote__and no mouse. At this point I figured I could do a few different things. All I had to do was pick one.
I decided to laugh. Not chuckle, laugh. Out loud. Really loud. Rollicking, rolling laughter. [Yes, I am aware that could be construed as hysterical behavior] I simply have gotten tired of crying__and railing__and ranting. So I laughed. Then I asked those you cannot see but who are always there [I refer to them as spirit guides] what it was they wanted? What was I supposed to learn from losing the mouse? What Message were they imparting? Because it had to be them. There couldn't possibly be any other explanation. None. I wouldn't, couldn't accept one anyway because I had looked for the *(&^&%^*&(*_) mouse in every conceivable place and some really inconceivable ones and it had simply disappeared.
And as I stood laughing I happened to look down at the foot of the newly made bed and right in front of me was the mouse. On top of the blanket just all bright and sparkly.
Very funny guys.
What was it they were trying to say? Well it didn't show up until I started to laugh so the message I got from the entire ordeal was
Lighten Up
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Wow, you're very organized with your exercise/internet routine. You even had coffee at the ready! Maybe they were telling you to take a swig of that coffee...
ReplyDeleteIt was stone cold by the time I got to it.
DeleteI have to be as organized as I can get these days or things get wonky. That's what happens when you get old. You have to have a routine otherwise you get lost. I try to park in the same place or as close to it at the store as I can get so I remember where the car is. I put my keys in the same two places or I won't be able to find them...etc. etc.
Boy oh Boy, this blog burned up the empathy lines. I've been trying to finish up a project that I started years ago. Every time I need the tape measure, it has disappeared. Instead of looking everywhere, I am trying to accept the fact that no matter how long I look for it I won't find it. I just do something else. After all, there's plenty of things that need doing. Invariably, I soon stumble across the tape measure in plain sight in the most obvious place. Then I simply go back to the project. This works. This is totally unlike me. The lesson of getting older seems to be that whatever I need to do but can't because I can't remember where the tools/papers/records are doesn't much matter anyway. When all is said and done, at least the bed is made. :)
ReplyDeleteI have to say...wait, I can't quite remember what it was I wanted to say or how I wanted to say it. Certainly not in the clever way I would have been able to word it years ago. * grin *.
DeleteYes, this aging thing is a whole new sort of education. I am having some trouble adapting. I think I feel it even more because of the impact it's got to be having on Matt although he never complains.
And ty for the chuckle
Okay. I so relate. I've been sorting through school stuff, doll stuff, and organizing things. I bought a cabinet to keep the doll paraphernalia in... and I finally got all my tools together and created a spot for them. To this point my tools were either in the laundry room or the porch. Earlier this week I lost my cordless drill. I've been doing stuff outside, so I feared that I'd left it outside and someone walked away with it. I later found it, hiding behind a bag of cloth grocery bags (bags which I SWEAR I moved when I was looking for it.)
ReplyDeleteRight now I have to go vacuum. I wish someone would hide the vacuum cleaner on me.
I cannot seem to be able to sign in on my own blog
DeleteSomewhere the Trickster grins, I swear.
DeleteThey hide things. I know they do. I can't prove it but I know it's them. Lynn ought to be here for this conspiracy of spirit vs. human.
Delete